Thankful (2)

I think I am pretty good at thanking people when they help me. It is easy for me to say thank you when Kevin brainstorms and plans a youth event, when Christi makes a brochure, when Joel cuts my grass, or when Bob buys me lunch (a weekly occurrence). I am seriously overcome with gratitude realizing that i could not or would not have accomplished what they did when they did it, had they not willingly given of themselves. For example, this week there have been 19 students volunteering all week long to help run kids kamp at church. They have been in acting roles, leading small groups, studying and preparing snacks (not that they have had to study to prepare snacks, but they have had to study lessons to teach and make snacks to eat) the week would not have happened without them. It is easy for me to see that and feel burdened to write them a card, call them and say thanks, or text and encourage them.

But here is my question or my struggle. How can i naturally see and express thanks to people who serve and care for me and so readily miss the everyday things worthy of thanks that make my life wonderful. For example, for the last two weeks, since Abe has been home, Katie has done a tremendous job. She has been breast feeding every three hours for two weeks now, which adds up to 112 times that she has had to be still and structure her time around feeding Abe. There is so much to be thankful for here, she has fought through the discomfort, disciplined herself to structure her time (day and night) around feeding Abe and saved us a lot of cash. Not to mention how special that time is between the two of them, that's 112 hours outside of non-feeding times that he has been held by his mother. Of course i am so thankful for that, but for some reason, i haven't thought to say, "Katie, thank you for being willing and committed to feeding Abe, it is such a blessing." Not that she told me to say that, but as we were talking about having him home and what the last two weeks had looked like, i had not even thought about the time, commitment and sacrifice of breast feeding.

I think this is a heart issue for me. Any idiot knows to be thankful when someone serves him. Who does not say thank you to someone who buys him lunch? I think this is the natural response for all of us. However, it takes a different mindset, a different heart, to process and think through the lives and actions of people in a way that you can see areas of sacrifice and service that you should be thankful for and acknowledge. The only other option is to believe that we deserve such treatment or service. It is so easy for me to overlook beautiful and selfless acts of service, things done by my wife, friends and the Lord. I love these words from Psalm 77, "I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds." I pray that the Lord create in me and you a heart disciplined and passionate enough to meditate on his works, as well as the lives and actions of those around us, that our hearts may be full of thanksgiving.

Thankful

Seven days ago Abel was the sickest baby in the special care nursery.  He had tubes coming out of his belly button that went into an artery allowing doctors to give him antibiotics and sedatives as needed.  He had a tube that went down his throat into his belly allowing doctors to feed him and remove excess air from his belly. He had a tube going down his throat which allowed doctors to insert a special type of medicine into his lungs.  He was wearing a CPAP which was giving him oxygen at highest level the nursery uses.  Most babies lose weight after they are born because such a large portion of their body is water, Abe, however, did not lose any water but gained additional fluid in his tissue and lungs.  He was swollen and unable to cry because of the tubes in his neck and could only release a subtle moan.  He was unable to transfer oxygen and carbon dioxide so he would grunt as he sucked in his belly and fought for air.  The only way that doctors were able to settle the fight that was going on within him was to put him to sleep.  I remember feeling helpless. 

There seemed to be two different types of babies in the special care nursery, both of which were transitional.  Katie and i watched young families come and go, some of which were transferred to Richland to receive specialized and intensive care and others were discharged, all the while we waited.  It was very hard because all of me wanted to believe that we were going home soon, but i identified all to well with the fear and pain that we saw in parents faces as they were moved to Richland.

The last week, however, has been amazing.  We watched Abe transition from a helpless patient in the hospital dependent on technology for life to a beautiful baby boy functioning perfectly without support. I am not sure exactly how prayer works, it is hard to understand why Abel was healed and why others were not. But i am convinced that it was the power and mercy of a mighty God responding to the prayers of his people.  Over the last week there have been dozens of people who have told me that they were praying for Abe.  I have heard about friends and families of friends and families whose grandma's church met to pray for Abel. He as been prayed for by church bodies all over Columbia.  Pastors from other church's large and small all over town have called me, come by the hospital and insisted on serving and praying for us. As I have watched you care for, love and minister to us my heart has been encouraged and filled with hope, confident that God moving, willing and Able to give life and restore health. 

Have you been praying for Abel? Has your grandma's church been praying for him? Has your sister from another state been calling you about him? Have you been praying anything specific for him? Will you post a reply for me telling us who you know that's been praying? I never want to forget what the Lord has done. I want to show and remind Abel of God's mighty strength, compassion and willingness to heal and give life to those that are weak and lacking. I am going to print off all of your reply's and put them in a special book for him. Thank you so much for the countless phone calls, visits, meals prepared, gifts given and acts of kindness displayed. Your support has carried us through this time.

Abe

Update on the Man Child:

He is doing very well today. He is not really getting better, however, he is not getting worse. The Doc (whose name is Dr. Pai pronounced Pie) says that stability is a good thing at this point. They had some pretty ambitious goals for him in the first day, of which he did a great job, however at this point they have to back off and let him breath a bit. His numbers are looking positive, they are giving him 30 percent oxygen and normal room oxygen is 21 percent so he's not far off there. He is retaining about 95 percent of the oxygen in his blood, yesterday that percentage was only about 88 so that is good. He also has reduced the rate he is breathing, he has to be under 60 breaths a minute before they can start trying to feed him and he is currently at about 70, yesterday he was staying around 115-120. His grunting, which he got from Katie (Or me) has reduced greatly. He was grunting a lot and fighting to exchange oxygen and carbon dioxide in his lungs but they are regularly taking his levels through the tube in his belly and they are continuing to get better.

Update on Me:

The last few days have been crazy for me. Intense passion and confusion would probably summarize my feelings. The first time i carried him down to the special care nursery i sat with him and held his hand, rubbing his arm, head and feet. After an hour or so i went to check on Katie and when i returned the nurse told me that this was a 'minimal stimulation unit' so rubbing the baby would cause high stress levels and increase his heart and breathing rates. Great i thought, after i spent an hour rubbing his body in an effort to comfort him.Come to find out, to best comfort him i should hold his legs firmly and press slightly on his arm and hand. Reminding him of being in the womb. It really does work. I was impressed by my womb imitating hand skills, as was Abe.

Today we had lunch with Kelly, Belle and Christian. While eating Christian was holding his fist up in a Hitler-esk fashion with his face squinched like a mad G.I. Joe. My gut was saying that's not nice buddy but i found myself with my fist up in the air returning the same G.I. Joe face figuring that's just what boys do. Seriously, i don't know. I don't want to raise a feminine man girl. I'm going to have to work hard to avoid names such as AbelJaye, Abelgail or sweet boy. I know how to do the nurturing, loving tender father to the girls but parenting a man child and the girls is going to be quite an adventure. It really is so exciting.

I have learned so much in the last two days. Trust has been a big issue. Trusting the Lord to take care of him, trusting all of these nurses (all 52 of them, seriously there are so many coming in and out), not to mention the 'nurses in training' i just don't think the 'special care nursery' is where you introduce the 'b-team', its just not the place to practice your skills. Trusting the Lord to teach me to care for him. Watching Abel trust me. He has never really opened his eyes, he knows me only from the consistency of my presence, the sincerity of my voice and the tenderness of my touch, yet whenever he is uncomfortable or fussy he will hold tightly onto my finger and allow me to comfort him, trusting that i am here for him and care about him. It really has been crazy. Watching him breath, caring for him, comforting him. He is my son and it is just awesome.

Quote of the day:

We bought AnnaJaye and Ab in to see him for the first time today and Abigail said she wanted to get in the bed with Abel and be a little baby. When i asked her why she said, "Because it's just so beautiful." Katie and i were scared that she would be scared by all of the tubes, wires, tears and blood. But it brought and brings tears to my eyes to see that even a child can see past the pain and problems to delight in his beauty. It was awesome.

Shoulder Pads with Spikes

For the last few hours Katie and I have been in the Labor and Delivery Dept of Lexington Medical Center. We were at the mall today when Katie's contractions picked up real strong, she went to her doctor and they sent her over to the hospital. They have been tracking her for a while and it looks like everything is fine. Her contractions are still very strong but they have spread out a good bit.

Shortly after we got here they put Katie some medicine for pain. They were wanting it to put her asleep so that they could see if her contractions were caused by active labor or if it was irritability. After thirty minutes or so the fun started. Katie started waving her hands in the air forgetting there were other people in the room. Saying weird things while falling in and out of sleep. I remember this moment with AnnaJaye being a little more intense. For some reason the drugs have a way of letting a woman speak freely the thoughts she is having about her husband. Have any of you ever experienced this? Tonight, however, their was no hidden frustration towards me. She did not say anything like get away from me, why did you do this to me, i don't like your nose or that shirt is ugly. In fact, it was quite the opposite she fell asleep just for a second, then looked at me and pointed saying, "You have on shoulder pads with spikes on them, you really are a warrior." Realizing that this was not a logical thought and that i was not wearing shoulder pads i was confused as to who she was talking about. Was she talking about Abel? Or me? Then she said, no you, i saw you and you really are a warrior.

I remember when i got my wisdom teeth taken out. I was still pretty much passed out from the drugs but as Katie bent down to talk to me i grabbed her butt and barked. Several things wrong here. The first and most alarming is that i barked. Upon which i fondled her with my mom in the room. It was really unexpected and out of place.

I'm not quite sure why medicine makes us act that way. It doesn't seem right. Nonetheless, tonight the warrior is sitting patiently by his lovely wife awaiting the delivery of the man child, thankful that everything is ok.

Taking It All In

I've noticed lately that i let the stress of the morning get the best of me. Our mornings are usually pretty crazy.  Katie having to at school by 7:15 (though she is on bed rest now) me meeting our Nanny at the right time at the right place, making sure we leave the house with lunches, shoes, jackets, hair bows, juice cups and passy's makes for a tough morning.  I feel like i'm always leaving or forgetting something. Anyway, i let the worries and frustrations of the morning distract me from treasuring the special moments.

But every morning without fail, regardless of how hard the morning has been, whether the girls woke up happy, grumpy or sleepy, got dressed with ease or fussed, once we are in the car on the way to school they are so sweet.  There have been hundreds of conversations from Jesus to jewlery, songs from Higglytown to Hillsong, a lot of hand holding, aliens in the back of the truck, and dissappearing daughters (though they really have their eyes closed). I will let the girls lean their heads on the door while their hair blows in the wind, get them 'special treats' on Friday's and let them to sit up front on my lap once we are on our street. Precious moments, that i will never forget, though i seldom take the time to rest in and enjoy.

Over the last couple of days, a couple of passages have really hit me that have got me thinking about how important it is for me to treasure this time and really take it in.   Last Sunday at church (Mother's Day) Greg focused on Luke 2:19 and 51.  Following the birth of Christ and when he was left in Jerusalem at the Temple, scripture says that "Mary, treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart."  I am so task oriented that i approach the morning with a mental checklist: clothes, lunches, cups, shoes, nanny, starbucks (atlanta bread closed), church. check, check, check, check...working my way down the list. (Even though i'll pack a whole lunch and leave it on the counter).  However, this week i tried to treasure each moment of dropping them off.  I remember when i bought Katie's engagement ring, i looked at it 20 times a day because i treasured what it represented, i thought it was beautiful. So this week, when the girls would get out of the car i would replay their words, revisit their thoughts, delight in their joy, be amazed by their kindness towards one another and smile at their beauty.

I learned so much this week. I seriously fell in love with the girls all over again. I learned how to treasure things in my heart, to intentionally hold on to them and allow myself to be moved by them. I pray that you find yourself learning how to treasure even the frustrating moments this week and allowing yourself to take it all in.

Debbie

I love my mother-in-law. She came in town to spend some time with Katie Friday for Mothers Day. They went and got a manicure and pedicure and then went out to lunch. Which happened to be one of the funniest afternoons ever, I'm really hoping that Katie writes a blog about it. Anyway, Debbie wasn't coming to see me. Our interaction was minimal. She got here, came inside Katie showed her that halerous newlywed video clip, then they left. She was here all of 10 minutes.

While we were walking out, she had a story that she wanted to share with me. This pastor from L.A. had come to Seacoast in Charleston to preach. He felt called to preach since he was young while others discouraged him saying that it just wasn't his gift. So, he would go out and preach to the trees in his neighborhood. Different, i know. But i like it. He went on to preach about the healing by the pool in Bethesda in John 5. She told me about the man in this story who had been laying there by the pool for thirty-eight years watching person after person receive a miracle from the Lord, while he lay there waiting. She went on to say that that there is a gap between the things that we can accomplish and the things that only God can do. Our tendency is to close the gap by working hard and doing whatever we can, instead of depending on the Lord. Waiting, watching and trusting that he has not finished with us.
It doesn't matter whether it is three minutes inside my front door or three days at her house, she intentionally seeks out moments to affirm and encourage me. For along time i thought it was contrived, that she was just doing what mother-in-laws are supposed to do. But Friday, i realized how mightily the Lord is using her. She sees something in me that I don't see. She is committed to speaking truth into my life and to casting a vision of hope, perseverance, patience, power and rescue.

Happy Birthday Debbie. Thank you for the many ways you have selflessly loved, cared for and encouraged me.

Ikea

Last Friday, i drove to Atlanta for the day to shop at Ikea in an effort to furnish our house. Since Katie has been at home on bed rest she has gotten a little stir crazy and decided sell some furniture and do some redecorating.  Great idea.  I was supportive.  Largely, because i did not think anyone would want to buy our crap. I just had no idea how addicted people are to Craig's List and that in a matter of days there would be people bringing checks by the house and leaving with furniture. It really is crazy.  Last night Bob and I delivered our bedroom suite to this girl who lives down town.  As we were carrying it out i realized that our furniture had been through five moves.  It was dinged up, dusty, scratched, the bed frame has been broken in thoroughly, and i was at a loss as to why someone, anyone, would ever want to buy it from us.  I think it is largely because of how we decorate or something, maybe it just looked good in our house, i don't know.  Needless to say, we carried it in quickly sat it down and hurried out. Thankful for the transaction.  Although it did feel weird carrying our furniture into someone else's house.

Anyway, we got a ton of stuff from Ikea.  It is mostly compressed particle board so i'll let you know later about it's durability. However, as for the price it can not be beat.  Shopping there is crazy because it is literally like a two story Wal-Mart with a Lowes attached.  You walk through two floors of room by room set ups and see all of this stuff you like. Bed frames, dressers, lamps, mirrors etc. all of which have stocking numbers on them that you write down.  Then you go into the Lowes type Warehouse and pull all of the items you like from bins.  I arrived at 1:30 and was the last one to check out at 9:45.  I felt like a woman and I didn't get home until 2:30. It was a tough day.  The next day when putting furniture together we noticed that one of the bed frames we pulled a queen headboard and footboard with full size rails.  I called Ikea, pulled out my receipt and noticed they also charged me twice for Katie's hutch.  I had a little trouble getting hold of them but when they called me back Friday, they found out what i needed and had it from Atl to my front door the next morning and they refunded the dresser to our debit card.

I was very pleased.  The store was overwhelming.  The furniture looks sweet. The customer service was solid.  You can check them out at www.ikea.com.