Abe

Update on the Man Child:

He is doing very well today. He is not really getting better, however, he is not getting worse. The Doc (whose name is Dr. Pai pronounced Pie) says that stability is a good thing at this point. They had some pretty ambitious goals for him in the first day, of which he did a great job, however at this point they have to back off and let him breath a bit. His numbers are looking positive, they are giving him 30 percent oxygen and normal room oxygen is 21 percent so he's not far off there. He is retaining about 95 percent of the oxygen in his blood, yesterday that percentage was only about 88 so that is good. He also has reduced the rate he is breathing, he has to be under 60 breaths a minute before they can start trying to feed him and he is currently at about 70, yesterday he was staying around 115-120. His grunting, which he got from Katie (Or me) has reduced greatly. He was grunting a lot and fighting to exchange oxygen and carbon dioxide in his lungs but they are regularly taking his levels through the tube in his belly and they are continuing to get better.

Update on Me:

The last few days have been crazy for me. Intense passion and confusion would probably summarize my feelings. The first time i carried him down to the special care nursery i sat with him and held his hand, rubbing his arm, head and feet. After an hour or so i went to check on Katie and when i returned the nurse told me that this was a 'minimal stimulation unit' so rubbing the baby would cause high stress levels and increase his heart and breathing rates. Great i thought, after i spent an hour rubbing his body in an effort to comfort him.Come to find out, to best comfort him i should hold his legs firmly and press slightly on his arm and hand. Reminding him of being in the womb. It really does work. I was impressed by my womb imitating hand skills, as was Abe.

Today we had lunch with Kelly, Belle and Christian. While eating Christian was holding his fist up in a Hitler-esk fashion with his face squinched like a mad G.I. Joe. My gut was saying that's not nice buddy but i found myself with my fist up in the air returning the same G.I. Joe face figuring that's just what boys do. Seriously, i don't know. I don't want to raise a feminine man girl. I'm going to have to work hard to avoid names such as AbelJaye, Abelgail or sweet boy. I know how to do the nurturing, loving tender father to the girls but parenting a man child and the girls is going to be quite an adventure. It really is so exciting.

I have learned so much in the last two days. Trust has been a big issue. Trusting the Lord to take care of him, trusting all of these nurses (all 52 of them, seriously there are so many coming in and out), not to mention the 'nurses in training' i just don't think the 'special care nursery' is where you introduce the 'b-team', its just not the place to practice your skills. Trusting the Lord to teach me to care for him. Watching Abel trust me. He has never really opened his eyes, he knows me only from the consistency of my presence, the sincerity of my voice and the tenderness of my touch, yet whenever he is uncomfortable or fussy he will hold tightly onto my finger and allow me to comfort him, trusting that i am here for him and care about him. It really has been crazy. Watching him breath, caring for him, comforting him. He is my son and it is just awesome.

Quote of the day:

We bought AnnaJaye and Ab in to see him for the first time today and Abigail said she wanted to get in the bed with Abel and be a little baby. When i asked her why she said, "Because it's just so beautiful." Katie and i were scared that she would be scared by all of the tubes, wires, tears and blood. But it brought and brings tears to my eyes to see that even a child can see past the pain and problems to delight in his beauty. It was awesome.